Skip to main content

7 Things to Consider Before You Get Married


just-married-couple
You want a rewarding and fulfilling marriage? You can have one, but you need a dose of reality first. Here are things you need to say “I do” to before walking down the aisle…
Do you have a sense of humor?
A sense of humor is vital, and the first person you have to laugh at is yourself. Consider this- men and women have to hook up on some level to propagate the species, proving God has a sense of humor. He obviously assumed we would too.
Do you know you’ll have to work? Hard?
I solicited the opinion of dozens of women for this topic, and the feedback was unanimous. You have to be willing to work. Some women think if you’re a perfect match, your marriage shouldn’t be work. Those people are called divorcees. It’s true your marriage shouldn’t be work every hour of every day, but there will be days when your marriage will require extra energy (a term I prefer over “work”). Like Grandpa used to say, anything worth having is worth working for. Welcome to Marriage 101.
Do you realize marriage is not 50/50?
Gotcha! You figure you’ll give half, he’ll give half and you’ll meet somewhere in the middle. You poor, poor dear. The reality is, there will be some days you’ll give 90% and you may or may not get 10% back. There may be weeks or months that pass with the scales out of whack. Remember- you committed your whole life to him, and in your lifetime the scales will shift back in your favor. Interestingly, the scales will align faster if you abandon the scorecard and self-pity.
Do you have a general acceptance of your significant other’s shortcomings?
Does he leave the toilet seat up? Get over it. Are his table manners a fright? Look the other way. Is he a tight-wad? You better be at one with strict budgets. Try seeing your new hubby’s annoying habits as endearing. In addition to his positive traits, his quirks make him who he is. Figure out a way to truly accept the whole package- the good, the bad and the ugly.
Do you have expectations of your marriage or soon-to-be-spouse?
If you said “I do” to this one, start goggling divorce attorneys now. Fundamental expectations like being treated well, being faithful, or being honest are covered by your wedding vows. If you want a long lasting marriage, let go of any romance novel or Lifetime movie expectations you have. The men in Hollywood are actors. Real men, generally speaking, are not geared for romance and eloquent, loving speeches. With this attitude, you’ll better enjoy the thoughtful little things your new husband does. Lowered expectations and happily ever after go hand in hand.
Do you know comparisons are a death sentence for marriages?
Like fingerprints, marriages are unique and specific to the two individuals involved and the one-of-a-kind bond they create. Instead of scowling at your husband when your friend brags about the romantic vacation her husband took her on, just smile. Maybe your friend left out how her husband ogled other women on the beach or said something at dinner that made her cry. You never know what goes on behind closed doors- be secure in what you and your husband share and the knowledge that it works for you.
Do you know your fiancé is bilingual?
Read a couple books about how men communicate or have a sit-down with your aunts and grandma. We think we grasp the Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus concept, but we don’t. He may not say “I love you” 14 times a day, but he might fill your car when it’s out of gas, maybe he’ll cover you with a blanket when you’re cold, he may bring you a glass of wine when you’re in the tub, or he might listen to stories about the kids when he just wants to crawl in a hole and go to sleep. You have to learn to read, understand and appreciate man-speak.
In order for a marriage to be successful, reality can’t be sugar-coated. Long term commitments are not for the faint of heart. A lasting union takes a great deal of love, patience, true grit and guts. The benefits are countless. I’ll leave you to discover those on your own.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

8 Things You Need To Understand If You Love A Sensitive Girl With An Anxious Mind

Being with someone who’s highly-sensitive can be tough. They feel all their emotions in extremes, from sadness to anger, as well as love. When you have a woman like this in your life who’s also tremendously anxious too, things can get a bit more difficult. A relationship like this will be worth it in the end if you can just get over the first few hurdles. To help you do that, here are 8 things you need to understand if you love a sensitive girl with an anxious mind. 1. She’s Easily Hurt A girl like her is extremely fragile. You’ll need to handle her with caution if you don’t want her to break. Although she knows that she can be a little oversensitive sometimes, that won’t stop her from getting hurt too easily by the things that people say or do. 2. She Can Become Attached Easily Her emotional nature makes her crave someone to love and care for. If she thinks that you’re worth her love, then she’ll give it all to you. The problem with this, however, is that she c...
Post a Comment
Read more

Thinking About Settling Down? Here Are 4 Reasons Why You Should Choose Not To

We’re conditioned from an early age into believing that finding the ‘one’, having a family and settling down is what life’s all about, but actually, life is about so much more than that. Society has pushed ‘this perfect life’ picture on to us for years and created a sense of fear that if we don’t achieve this the perfect life picture we will end up alone and unhappy, and its sad because many of us will grow up with this belief. To top it all there’s this looming thing called the ‘biological clock’ which drives many of us into relationships we aren’t truly happy in all for the sake of procreating. As a result we see more and more young people tying the knot out of fear that they will end up miserable and lonely and would not have left any off spring to carry their name into the future. The most important question we are all forgetting to ask is; WHAT’S THE HURRY ? Why is it so important for us humans to feel whole with another person Choosing to settle in a rela...
Post a Comment
Read more

13 Amazing Qualities of Strong Women That Prove They Are Also The Most Vulnerable

What makes a woman strong?   This lady doesn’t wear a T-Shirt with a slogan that says: H ey, I’m A Strong Woman? What’s Your Superpower? so you won’t recognize her on the street. But if you get to know a strong woman you’ll surely understand she is one. Strong women are not different than the other women except for the fact they are: more confident, more giving, make more sacrifices, love more strongly and are not afraid to stand for who they are. And these are just a few of the positive characteristics these extraordinary ladies possess. Below we’ve made a list of their 13 most amazing qualities: 1. She knows what she wants The most important characteristic of a strong woman is that she knows who she is and what she wants. And she is not afraid to do what she has to do to achieve her goals. Strong women pursue their goals no matter what it costs them. They are ambitious and determined. 2. She either wins or learns...
Post a Comment
Read more